(A lovely girl, no trouble at all.)
At
the end of my third week when school again loomed before me I was forced
to realise that suicide was my only escape. I had woven so carefully, with
such close texture, my visible layer of ‘no trouble at all, a quiet student,
always ready with a smile..., always happy’, that even I could not break
the thread of the material of my deceit. I felt completely isolated....
What, in all the world, could I do to earn my living and still live as
myself, as I knew myself to be....
On Saturday evening
I tidied my room arranged my possessions, and swallowing a packet of Aspros,
I lay down in bed to die, certain that I would die. My desperation was
extreme.
The next morning, near
noon, I woke with a roaring in my ears and my nose bleeding.
An Autobiography.
Janet Frame